All the King's Horses and All the King's Men

Well, folks are bugging...er...urging me to post, so I suppose I will. It's been a pretty exciting year so far and it's only the what-ever-the-hell-day-it-is of January. I'm gonna guess it's somewhere between the 17th (the first day of school) and the 31st because nobody has said anything about it being February yet. Although who would? February is a crap month anyway. I can't think of one significant thing that goes on in that month other than a few friends' birthdays. Nobody respects that first "r" either. Screw you Febuary. Two "r"s my ass. You don't deserve two "r"s.
Anyway, back to exciting things. Road trip was fun only because it was fraught with anarchy and chaos tossed in at every available moment. Also, I left my beanie at Mount Rushmore. But the most exciting thing of all; I realize that this is just the run of the mill thing for all you other kids with you being the crazy school savvy, homework doing, class attending fools that you are, but I it made it onto the honor roll this last semester! If any of you even think that you know me, you know that's the craziest shit on Earth! Who the hell would put me on the honor roll? I've done that one other time in my entire school career and that was some random quarter in middle school like eight years ago. That's spitting distance from a decade. So I've advice for any of you crazy book monkeys who are worrying and stressing because you're just now getting your first B's and C's of your whole life and think that maybe you're slipping, just let your shiny little asses get kicked out of school for a semester for "academic misconduct". That'll turn your shit around lickity-split. I'm not talking about Richard "I flick boogers in my Honors colloquium" Greene here. Deals with the Devil just aren't fair. Just to be entirely clear, I most definitely AM suggesting that you make wagers with the Dark Prince of the Underworld for your sparkly grades.
So, anyway, here in a few days time, I'm going to apply to the University of Oklahoma for, I'm not sure, I think it's the fourth time. Maybe they'll accept me this time...again, you know, for the second time. I'll be taking my second tour in 'Nam, only this time I won't get shot in the face and sent home early. This time I'll stay until either we win the war or we get "pulled out". I'm not saying I was shot in the face on OU campus. It was just an analogy you jerk. You don't take analogies literally. Unless, of course, you are comparing one thing to another for emphasis of some moral trait or something, like if I said that you getting an abortion is kinda like what Hitler did to the Jews during the Holocaust. No, I'm not implying that that is my actual opinion. That was yet another analogy. You see, an analogy about an analogy. More specifically, an analogy about a simile, whereas the first one about 'Nam was more like an allegory. Jeez, you people take me entirely too seriously. You must realize that my life is an analogy, which, perhaps ironic to some, is a metaphor. This, although a bit digressive, clearly illustrates the point that I'm going back to OU with the intention of staying until I graduate.
Picture Time

The old me:















New me:




If this is new to you, then you haven't been spending enough time with me lately. If this surprises you, then you haven't known me for more than a few years.