Off to The Waste Lands

Well, it's 12:47 pm local time and I woke up about fifteen minutes ago. I'll tell you why that's peculiar and of note. It's because I was scheduled to work at 11 am this morning. That was one hour and forty-seven minutes ago. I'm not sure what happened exactly. I don't remember my alarm ever actually going off, nor do I remember turning it off. It was set for 9 am. I fear it was a mystical intervention of some type or that time is slipping like it's prone to do in the Dark Tower Series by Stephen King. Either way, I'm just as screwed.
The problem is, at Wal*mart, if you don't come to work when scheduled and you don't call, you are considered to be what is called, a No Call, No Show. It's very bad from a keeping-your-job stand point if you pile up too many of those. So, I called in sick. I know, I know. That's a dirty dirty liar thing to do, and if there is a Hell, I'm going there, not only in a hand basket, a very poor and shoddily made hand basket, but in that hand basket on a an ethereal train of death with a broken air conditioner... That likes riddles.
So, I told them that I was throwing up until 4 am this morning and that I turned off my alarm and such. I wish I really was sick. I feel bad enough.

Blaine is a pain...