A Thought Experiment
I've finally figured out how to know for absolute fact whether there is a God or not. I'm going to kill myself on Wednesday. I'm not sure how yet. Preferably something not too painful. I'll let you folks leave comments with ideas on how. I'm waiting until Wednesday because this is my weekend and I never do anything worth doing on the weekend.
P.S. That dinging makes me queezy.
P.S. That dinging makes me queezy.
posted by Unknown | 1:01 AM
7 Comments:
kill yourself by having an 'accident' while driving through a cemetery. then you can float on laughing at everyone who considers that irony. i will go to your funeral... but only if there are jelly donuts.
Just for the record, you shouldn't kill yourself. If you are hell bent on doing so, I say that you should jump out of a plane with no paracute. That way, you'll have fun before you die. I'm also sure that it wouldn't hurt so bad when you hit the ground, as long as you die that is. If you live, you'll be in pain the rest of your miserable life.
Get yourself up on the top of the stadium's pressbox, then just take a swan dive off, but make sure you land on your head.
Either that, or death-by-shark, if you can arrange it.
One night when we are all getting very crazy during a game of Halo, allow me to take out my anger and stress be throwing old light bulbs at your skull. Then if I run out of bulbs before you die, let me finish you off by throwing my controller at you. Of course, if that still doesn't kill you, allow me to pelt you with darts while Lela swings at you with a baseball bat. Now this may not be the favorite way to die, but at least we'll all have fun watching it.
Suffocating in ample breasts might be fun. Ummm...drowning in frappuccino...getting laid by Heath Ledger or Angelina Jolie (or both...wow...) would probably kill a normal human. Basically, you should aim for too much of a great thing and that way, if it doesn't kill you, you'll be WAY cooler and people will want your autograph when you wake up from your coma.
Oh yeah...don't kill yourself. I'd cry and I don't look very cute when I cry. You don't want to mess up my make-up, do you?
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