Hello, Could You Please Direct Me To God?

Ok, So, I got in trouble today. Meagan actually yelled at me because I called her God a superstition. Well, actually, I was referring to the way she touches the ceiling when running through a yellow light, which is apparently to signify her thanking said God for not making her die or something while breaking the law. Yes, it is breaking the law if you intentionally speed up to and try to beat a yellow light. It's called failure to yield at a yellow light. I would just like to say, I have never yelled at anyone for talking about their deities. We non-God believers take a LOT of shit for our lack of beliefs and it's starting to pissing me off. I'm just glad I have a few friends who share my beliefs(or lack thereof) because hanging out in a group of Christians can be really scary and one can feel very alone.

Here I am going to post a Rant I wrote a few years ago. It's kind of long so you might want to grab some popcorn or something before sitting down to read it. It's title is the same as the one for this post. Here goes:

First of all, I need to say that it is not my intent to offend anyone here, so if you are offended by my words then it is by your own choice. That was a disclaimer, not an apology. That having been said, it is important to know that I am currently an Atheist. Yes, I did say, “currently”, for a reason. I said this because unlike most people on this planet I am very open-minded. I have no problem subscribing to any idea as long as there is a shred of reasonable and tangible proof. Most may believe that they are also open-minded, but they only believe that to make them feel better about themselves or to try to impress people like me. Let’s face it, what’s the point of being open-minded if it doesn’t have anything to do with religion. Religion, by the way, is the main topic of our so-called essay today. Religion is, by far, my favorite topic of discussion, or as some of my God fearing friends would call it, argument and sometimes violent persuasion. Before we get too far, I want to talk about the word believe. Because of my extreme open-mindedness, this is a very strong word for me. I like to think that I don’t actually have any beliefs, I only have ideas.

Because of what I’ve just finished saying, someone might think that I am not actually open-minded, but that I may just believe what I want. Well, if you believe that, than you’ll just have to deal with it. Probably, most of the people who would have that mind set just stopped reading the paper after they figured out what it was about, so I can say what I like about them because they won’t read this anyway. Therefore, still with us should be the fairly open-minded people and the occasional stubborn believer of a superstition.

Back on track; religion, I believe, is the funniest piece of human history. More specifically, God. I like to think of myself as a logical person. But I just can not figure out why so many people still believe in God. Let’s set all science and logic aside for a moment. Why on earth would a person even want to believe in this notion? If you have lived an entire lifetime on Earth without once ever seeing His face or ever having Him come to you personally and telling you to believe in Him, why would you ever think that there was an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do and who created all you see? This blows my mind! I mean to say, even with everything my parents told me, I never once thought that God was anymore than a character like Santa Clause. Sure, Santa was cool when I was a kid because he would bring me toys, but now that I am an adult I have no reason to believe that. I have no incentive. I don’t wake up on Christmas morning thinking, “Gee, I hope there is a present under the tree for me that wasn’t there last night!” Do you? I don’t think so, but if you do then you have no business reading this. When I was a kid Christmas was my favorite holiday. “Who cares whose birthday it is as long as I get toys?” that’s what I thought. Santa was the essence of Christmas, I thought. So after there was no more Santa, why would I still believe it was Jesus’ birthday? Did it matter? Yes, of course it mattered to my parents! After that it was an emergency trip to vacation Bible School. I had to be saved! Eventually, after a few years of brain-washing I believed. Well, at least they thought I believed. It was that, “yes Mom I know I’m supposed to brush my teeth,” kind of believe. You know, when you say it just to make them happy. But I was never really convinced.

But the reasons for my non-belief are not the point. Yours is. Now let’s discuss why you have these unnecessary superstitions. First of all, you probably would have had some kind of beliefs anyway; you only have this particular type because someone already gave you a hint of what to believe. Now let’s get a little farther down the road. Why do you still have these beliefs? Maybe it’s because you never thought about it before. Maybe you had no reason to think otherwise. Maybe nobody ever questioned your ideas before. Ok. So, what if someone did question them?

Here’s a scenario: you live in a secluded area and have always lived there, so you have never come across anyone with overtly contrasting views. One day an alien spaceship lands on your secluded farm and an alien comes out. He is a very inquisitive alien and is very curious about what your beliefs are. Now here is where you decide what kind of person you are. On one hand, it could seem like a very easy question and you could quickly explain your dogma as if it could not be any other way. Or, you could be open-minded, and doubt your previous given ideas because this is the first time you have ever come across someone who doesn’t share your views. You could think, “Well, if my beliefs are true, then every one should also think the same way. But, if this guy has no knowledge of my beliefs, then maybe my beliefs aren’t true.” Then you remember that your parents or some other persons close to you as a child are the ones who gave you these ideas and told you they were true. But if the ideas are not true then either your parents lied to you or they were wrong. This is when you decide to either halt your questioning and keep your beliefs as true or decide to search for more logical beliefs. This can go in many directions. You can easily get off on the wrong foot by trying to find logic that fits around your previously determined beliefs. What you should do, if you are not afraid of traipsing around with a clear conscience, is wipe the slate and start over. First, try to find an idea that makes the most sense to you from the get go, whether it is that a giant perfect man said, “Let it be!” or that all matter sprang forth from a huge explosion eons ago. They all sound equally silly at first. Then after you have something to use as a starting point begin to search for the evidence behind each view. After a while something will start to make sense to you.

Now, if you accidentally get stuck on the wrong path and let’s say the giant man idea seems more plausible to you, just keep this acronym in mind: K.I.S.S. It stands for: Keep It Simple Stupid.

Why God? Why not a Super Rhinoceros? Or a Supreme lamppost or better yet, a supreme burrito?! I’ll tell you why. A long time ago a baby was born. He grew up to be a very nice guy. He walked around teaching people and inspiring people. After a while some lunatic with a name like Luke or John said, “Hey! This guy is so great, he must be the son of God!” He got so many people to believe it that the Romans and the Jews had the nice guy killed. And all of his little cultists said, “Wow, isn’t he nice, he’s dying for our sins so we don’t have to!”

Have you ever heard a story from some one who heard it from some one else about a guy who lifted a truck off of a little girls chest and saved her life? And then you actually meet the guy and you ask him about it and he says it didn’t really happen, that he just happened upon an accident and he only thought he saw a girl near the truck? And then you think, “Oh, he’s just being modest, what a good guy for not tootin’ his own horn.” This is how these things get started, a seemingly normal story gets passed around so much that it gets blown totally out of proportion.

So, why do people still believe this? In the end it doesn’t matter. People are going to believe what they want to believe. They are going to believe in what makes them feel happy and secure. That is, if they have the choice. Some things can’t be un-believed.